It was a simple line in a movie, but it hit me like a freight train. “I’ve spent an entire life time trying to be everything to everyone, and somehow somebody is always disappointed”. I paused the movie and took a moment to process the statement. This statement felt really familiar, not only for myself, but for so many of the women I work with. Time spent in life trying to be everything and failing. How do we know we’re failing? Everyone tells us – they told me; women I work with were also told the same thing.
Let me paint you a picture, a picture of how you are told that you’ve failed. It’s not a simple as “you’ve failed”. You hear it when your requests for help are ignored. You hear it when someone asks if you need help cooking dinner because you are running a bit late tonight. You hear it when advice is given that “if you want to get ahead in this job, you just need to be less….you”. You hear it when people compare you unfavourably. You hear it when your partner asks if you’re really going out dressed like that. You hear it when they say “you made a fool of yourself out there”. You hear it when someone comments about the state of your house. You hear it when you see the disapproving looks from the other mums at school.
This feedback, no matter what form it takes, it piles up. The outside expressions of failure start to become internalised. Eventually you don’t need to be told you’re a failure, because you believe it yourself. I have had so many women I’ve worked with that live that picture and they come to me to paint a new one. In order to paint this new picture, we have to find a blank canvas to start with. This is not a matter of wiping the slate clean, but about stripping back the failure layers.
The first obstacle here is working out who you really are. It’s a really simple question, when it’s written down “who am I really?”. Answering it though, can be a real ride. Are you the kind of woman who enjoys lattes with the girls on Thursday because society says you should? Spoiler alert – I don’t like lattes, I’m a cappuccino girl myself, and it doesn’t matter that they’re practically the same thing, because to me they definitely aren’t. Perhaps you think you’re supposed to have it all – the high-flying career, the smokin’ hot body, perfect husband and pigeon pair children? HA – unattainable, destructive and dangerous messaging from society there.
So, who really are you? Answering this question isn’t as hazardous as it looks, but it does take knowledge and experience to work it out. As you find yourself, you also find what really matters to you, you can begin to live an aligned. Living an aligned life allows you to feel in flow, to be fluid, and flexible. You live an authentic life. The work I’ve done with so many women has allowed them to find themselves, design their own life and to embrace their future with hope.
If this sounds like a life that is calling to you, then you’re in the right place. I’ve consolidated all the knowledge and experience I’ve gained over twenty years and brought is all together in my Life Alignment Program. This program is for women who know that there is more to life and they’re ready to grab it with BOTH hands.