I remember very clearly when I started my current job that I was sitting there thinking “OH MY GOD, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I’M DOING”. It was also very quickly followed by the thought “they’re gonna work it out and sack me”. Upon researching about this feeling that I had, I discovered the aptly named ‘Imposter Syndrome’. Essentially, imposter syndrome is used to describe a person who has chronic feelings of self-doubt and a sense of fraud in relation to their intellect that are far stronger than any evidence of person’s capacity and ability to achieve. It’s extremely common for women to identify with these feelings. Despite actively achieving in your education, gaining accolades in your workplace, having co-workers and staff that tell you how wonderful you are to work with, deep inside you feel that these are lies they are all telling you.
It doesn’t stop there, you can feel like an imposter as a mother (everyone thinks I’m such a great mum, but I keep yelling at my kids and I hate that, if they knew the truth they’d never speak to me again), as an intimate partner (I love this guy, but he pisses me off so much when he NEVER hangs up his towel, like how hard can it be? Surely, if he really loved me he’d do this kind of stuff for me, why can’t I have someone that loves me and shows it), and your social group (oh my, I love hanging out with the girls, but seriously Jenny annoys the crap out of me, she’s so shallow, thinking this makes me such a bad friend). Let’s be honest, you can find imposter thoughts popping into your life everywhere if you are on the look out!
So, if you really are the person others perceive you to be, how on earth do you learn to overcome that sinking feeling that you’re going to get busted every day? Well, let me share what I use to help me silence my inner critic. I started journalling about my wins and achievements. I actually have a journal specifically for collating my wins in my life, no matter what the win is. Here I’ve recorded wins at uni, gains in my business, positive feedback from friends and family and clients telling me what they’ve gained from working with me, no win is too big or too small. Sometimes I even record wins that no one knows about like finishing things I set out to do, completing personal development courses and even finishing projects I’ve been working on. Now, when I’m having a day where I’m feeling like I’m an imposter in my own life, I go read through these wins and remind myself that sometimes I am going to feel low, and that’s ok, however it’s not an actual representation of my life
My imposter syndrome tends to pop up more strongly when I’m tired, worn out or over-worked. Since working this out, I’ve been far more conscious of how I look after myself and allowing myself to rest and recover when I need to. It’s funny how this flies in the face of our “busy society” expectations that are so prevalent these days. I still struggle to not automatically respond that I’ve been busy to someone who has asked how I’m going. I have spent a lot of time allowing myself to have relaxation time, specifically time in my garden re-engaging with nature. When I do this, I am able to better handle the imposter feelings that pop up.
Sometimes you find that the imposter syndrome becomes overwhelming. Logically, you can see that it’s ridiculous that you feel this way, which makes it even more uncomfortable. Here is this thing that you can logically see shouldn’t be a feeling you have, YET, emotionally you appear to have little control over it. Worse, when you remind yourself of your wins and the evidence you have against this, your brain out argues you telling you that those were purely “lucky chances and frankly, you’re so lucky that the world hasn’t worked out you have no idea what you’re doing yet”. You can’t out-argue your own brain, trust me, I’ve tried! You just wind up exhausted and overwhelmed.
Want to learn how to keep your imposter voice in the background, not running the show for you? Find out more about how I can help you learn to understand your imposter, find out what drives her, detach the inner messages that feed her and how to manage it all in a way that does not leave you feeling completely exhausted. That’s just part of what you can do when you work with me to move forward into the next part of your life. Together, we go on an adventure to find out what really lights you up, to find out what is truly important to you, identify your core values and plan out a future that makes you bounce out of bed every morning (well, most mornings!). Find out more in your free alignment call where we can talk about exactly how I can help you. You have nothing to lose by taking this chance, in fact, you may realise that you have a whole lot to win! Book your alignment call now by clicking the button below.
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I’m so excited to be able to share this program with you, to help you grow and develop into the woman you wanted to be all those years ago!
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